


A Congenial Task

by girlmarauders, Sunquistadora



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 20-30 Minutes, casefic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:25:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2064546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmarauders/pseuds/girlmarauders, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunquistadora/pseuds/Sunquistadora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy & Rosa participate in the oldest casefic cliché of the century by having to pretend to be dating in order to infiltrate a gay bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Congenial Task

 

  


_(cover by sunquistadora)_

Length: 27:13  
Download (right click & save) or stream:

[MP3](http://sunquistadora.parakaproductions.com/ACongenialTask.mp3)  --- [M4B](http://sunquistadora.parakaproductions.com/ACongenialTask.m4b)

 

 

Amy feels awful. She had missed her bedtime by 20 minutes last night, her morning workout had been sluggish and her ponytail feels lopsided.

When Captain Holt strides into the briefing room she struggles to sit up straight and smily warmly but professionally. Jake makes a horrified face and a brief chopping motion across his neck, so she quickly drops the smile but keeps trying at the “upright and professional” act.

“Detectives,” Holt says, in what Amy has always thought was a particularly majestic tone of voice. “This precinct has been assigned a particularly sensitive and important case and, as we move forward with this briefing. I hope all of you will address the issues inherent in this investigation with sensitivity and care.”

Amy wonders if he knows that Jake is pulling faces behind him. Probably, Holt knows everything. He just chooses to rise above it.

“Good luck,” Holt nods and Amy is the only one to give an identical nod back, trying to look as serious and professional as she can. He walks out and Jake immediately jumps behind the podium, like a golden retriever puppy that’s just figured out its unsupervised.

“Okay, guys!” Jake is practically bouncing with how happy he is. Amy sighs. This can only mean bad things. “In an honestly completely unexpected turn of events, I have been named lead on a super high profile case. Apparently, Blush, which is a bar for ladies who like other ladies, is being used as a front to launder money for the lesbian mafia.”

Amy raises her hand.

“Yes, Amy, we are taking questions from the class today, what is it?”

“No way is there a lesbian mafia.” She says and rolls her eyes. Jake opens his mouth to respond, catches himself and then closes his mouth.

“Fine, Amy, harsh my awesome storyline, but no, there is no lesbian mafia, there is just the normal mafia. Apparently, this woman,” and Jake holds up a large photograph of a good-looking brown-haired woman, approximately 31, “, Clara here, is the sister of Adam Genovese, who is the son of the head of the Genovese family. And I don’t have to tell you why that’s a bad thing.”

“Why is that a bad thing?” asks Scully.

Jake pauses.

“Okay, well apparently I do have to tell you what that’s a bad thing. Amy, you care to utilise your significantly better-used attention span to regurgitate the stuff we learned at that organised crime seminar?”

Amy perks right up.

“The Genovese family are one of the major mafia families in New York. If Clara is related to the family, the bar is probably being used to launder money. Standard procedure is to apply for an undercover operation and try to determine the money-delivery system.” She says. She has a great memory.

“What Detective Flashcards just said,” Jakes says with a nod. “Good thing I already applied for an undercover operation and have the authorisation right here!” Jake fumbles the folder while trying to dramatically reveal the authorisation certificate but they all give him a moment to pull it out. Amy doesn’t make a “nee-nah” noise. She’s a good person like that.

“Right…here!” Jake does again, and pulls out the official form with the police commissioner’s signature. “Right here it says, Detectives Santiago and Diaz are authorised to participate in an under-cover investigation lasting a maximum of 3 days, beginning the 7th of August, which is tomorrow by the way guys.”

Amy stares back at Jack. She can practically hear Rosa’s murderous glare from across the room. Every time she is nice to Jake it totally backfires. She regrets not making the “nee-nah” noise. Jake Peralta ruins her belief in taking the high road by refusing to acknowledge that the high road exists.

“What?” She says, kinda shrilly. Rosa’s “what!” is much more aggressive. That’s probably why Rosa is scarier. Maybe Amy should take a seminar on voice projection. It could be helpful. Jake waves his hands.

“You two are going to be playing a young couple,” Jake says, in a cutesy voice, “named Amanda and Toni, short for Antonia, that’s you by the way Rosa, to infiltrate the bar and Clara Genovese’s inner friend circle! It’s going to be so much fun!”

He means fun for him to watch. From the stake-out van. Maybe Rosa will strangle him for Amy. The growl she just made makes it seem pretty likely.

“Jake, you better not be fucking with me. Us.” Rosa says, standing up and crossing her arms. Jakes shakes his head.

“Seriously Rosa, this is the best way in,” he says, with a straight face that lasts about two seconds. “That doesn’t change the fact I’m so excited for dress-up corner!”

&&&

Dress-Up Corner is the part of the evidence locker where they keep clothes no one wants anymore. A lot of drunk people leave their clothes behind and a suprising amount of people never come and collect things that have been used in investigations. They have a substantial amount of clothes in the Corner. Scully and Hitchcock made the sign that says “Dress-Up Corner” on pink paper with sad looking bubble letters. Terry made them do it to keep them away from cases on important days.

Amy pokes helplessly at a pile of alcohol-stained t-shirts and looked at Rosa, who’s glaring around trying to find someone to savage.

“Do we really have to do this?” She asks. Rosa nods, looking pained.

“It’s the only way into the bar. I mean, we can’t send Jake.”

Amy sags. Rosa’s right. Rosa’s normally right.

“C’mon,” Rosa says, in the deadpan voice that means she’s trying to be encouraging. “The dresses are over here. We’ll try and find something good.”

Some of the dresses are horrifying. There’s a wedding dress with a really awful looking stain on it that is probably going to give Amy a stress dream but Rosa just shoves it to one side and starts digging through the pile of poorly-folded dresses. There’s a pile of ladies shirts next to it and Amy, without thinking, starts sorting and folding them as she watches Rosa work. She has very shiny hair. Amy’s never been able to make her hair shiny like that, even when her mom would make her wash her hair in special oils.

She picks out a white t-shirt and starts to fold it over her hands. The material is soft, old but clean, and she folds it three times before she realises that she’s just stroking it.

“Here,” Rosa says, and turns around holding a red dress. “You’ll look good in this.”

Amy starts, realising she’d been staring at Rosa’s shoulders.

“Oh, yeah, here, you should wear this.” She says quickly, trying to recover smoothly. Rosa raises an eyebrow and then looks between the dress and the t-shirt slowly, as if emphasizing to a child that the two things were different. Amy stutters. “I mean, I love the dress, it looks really …red, and I think that’s what we want to go for, but like, this shirt, we don’t want to go too overboard. And, you, I mean, your style, it won’t really be right to put you in a dress for a operation and I think you’d look really good in this but it’d also be, you know, comfortable.”

She has to pause to breath deeply. Rosa leans forward and puts a soft hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, woah, it’s fine. I like the t-shirt. I’m glad you like the dress. Breathe.”

Amy gasps and then regains control of herself, trying to straighten her shoulders. She looks up into Rosa’s eyes and manages to think “Rosa’s eyes are very brown”.

Then Jake sticks his head around the door and waves the department’s camera.

“Hey guys, c’mon, we gotta take photos!!”

&&&

The red dress is very tight, especially over her butt and her front, and Jake makes her put her hair down while Rosa’s using the bathroom to change. Rosa walks out in her same leather jacket as normal but she’s wearing the white t-shirt Amy gave her, even though Amy knows that the idea of a white t-shirt as Rosa’s costume is ridiculous. Rosa stops in the middle of the room and puts her hands on her hips.

“Let’s get this over with,” She says, and then moves to stand next to Amy.

It’s regulation that photographs have to be taken of the active officers in costume in undercover cases, so that their photograph can be circulated to any extraction team, but Jake Peralta is an expert in following police regulation in the most embarrassing and horrible way ever.

He makes them take prom photos.

“Okay, stand closer to each other,” Jake says, moving around with the camera and waving Rosa closer to Amy. “C’mon Rosa, put your arms around her, you guys are meant to be a couple. Yeah, just like that.”

Rosa isn’t much taller than Amy and Amy would definitely join a height competition against Rosa but she feels taller than her when she stands behind her and puts her arms around her waist. Amy keeps expecting the Dress-Up Corner stuff to smell disgusting but Rosa’s hair smells super nice. Amy doesn’t understand why someone can get shiny hair and nice smelling hair all at once. It isn’t fair.

“Stop squirming,” Rosa said quietly, as Jake continued to snap photo after photo while shouting instructions at them.

“I’m not squirming,” Amy whispers back, “I’m following Jake’s instructions. The sooner he takes the photographs, the sooner we get out of here.”

Rosa makes a weird face that Amy doesn’t think she’s ever seen Rosa make before. Jake interrupts her thought process with more shouting.

“Now I want Rosa to dip Amy,” he says, almost bouncing on his toes. He hasn’t been this indulged since Gina gave him access to the office supply store. Rosa’s face returns to her usual “stony anger” and she looks him dead in the eye.

“No way Peralta,” she says, and turns and strides out the door to the bullpen. Amy watches her go. Rosa has very nice legs. Maybe Amy could take a seminar on that walk.

&&&

The bar is actually kinda classy, even with the pink neon sign on the front that says ‘Blush’ in cursive letters. If she wasn’t undercover, there was no way Amy could afford this place. I mean, Rosa, with her inexplicable source of nice clothes and classy vacations, probably could. Rosa keeps putting her hand on Amy’s back, between her shoulder blades. Amy knows it’s meant to look coupley but it feels good, Rosa reminding her that she’s there.

They sip drinks very slowly, swallowing very little of it and occasionally abandoning the drinks in corners when it’s obvious all the ice has melted and they haven’t drunk anything. They haven’t seen Clara Genovese yet but they’ve seen a few of her friends in a corner of the bar, and intel says she usually doesn’t come in till later, so they’re playing it cool, scoping out the bar’s layout and watching bartenders refill the cash registers. They’re not moving cash in overly large quantities, but that could just mean it gets sorted in a back room before being moved to front of house.

“Hey, come here,” Rosa says, and before Amy can figure out what she means, Rosa’s stepped her back up against the wall. She leans forward, until her lips are centimeters from Amy’s earlobe.

“On your three o’clock,” she whispers, and Amy tries to look at her three o’clock in a way that is totally “curious bar-goer” and not “undercover cop with fake girlfriend”. Clara Genovese, wearing a gorgeous silvery top, is leaning against the bar and chatting with one of the bartenders. She has short brown hair that falls in tight waves and makes her look younger than Amy knows she is. She’s very pretty.

“That’s her,” Amy whispers back into Rosa’s ear. Rosa shivers and Amy feels her shoulders knock against her. She’s about to reach out and touch Rosa’s shoulder, check that she’s okay but Rosa leans up and steps away before she can.

“We need to make contact,” Rosa says under her breath. Amy squares her shoulders.

“I’ve got this,” she says confidently. She can fake a fall like no other cop. She pushes away from the wall, smiling too much and teetering in her high shoes like she’s drunk too much. At the bar, she stumbles into Clara, giggling.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Amy says loudly and then giggles. “I didn’t see you there, I’m so sorry! Let me buy you a drink! Toni, oh where’s Toni.”

Rosa follows her cue and steps up behind her, putting a hand on her back to steady her.

“I’m here babe,” she says in a low voice. “What’s going on?”

Clara Genovese smiles and waves a hand.

“You friend here,” she says, in a voice that implies a wink and a nudge, "seems to have had a little bit too much to drink and we bumped into each other. Not to worry.”

“I’m sorry,” Rosa says, and the hand on Amy’s back curls around to rest on her hip. “Amanda and I were celebrating. Let me buy you a drink to apologise,”

Clara begins to wave a hand again and says “oh, there’s no need,” but Rosa’s already moving to the bar and waving for the bartender. Amy thinks Clara has a nice smile, even if she is a mafia member and a criminal.

“What are you celebrating, little Amanda?” Clara asks, raising her eyebrows. Amy smiles and leans into the “drunk girlfriend” impersonation.

“Oh, Toni got a promotion! I’m so excited for her, we’re both so excited, aren’t we honey?” Amy directs the final question at Rosa as she turns back from the bar, holding two drinks.

“We are,” Rosa says, although Amy thinks her deadpan leaves a lot of drama to be desired. There’s a seminar on police acting she should sign her up for. “We’re very excited.”

Clara takes one of the drinks from Rosa’s hands and sips it. Even now that Rosa’s returned, her eyes are still on Amy.

“Well, isn’t that lovely. Why do you two come and meet my friends? Share a drink with us?” She nods towards her friends in a large booth in the back. “Little things should be celebrated, let me buy you both drinks!”

Her smile is almost predatory now and she puts her hand on Amy’s back, guiding her away from the bar. As they walk away, Amy looks over her shoulder and sees Rosa down her drink in one quick gulp, even though they’re technically on duty. Amy makes a face at her and tried to subtly jerk her head towards Clara’s friends. This is their in!

Clara leans in closer to her and speaks into her ear.

“So, Amanda, what is it you do?” She says softly. Amy’s about to answer when Rosa comes up behind her and wraps an arm around her shoulders.

“Amanda’s an accountant,” she says stonily. Amy giggles and leans into Rosa’s side, trying to cover the fact that Rosa is staring at Clara like she’s going to punch her.

“We met at work,” Amy says, and Clara smiles indulgently. “Toni works in construction and I was doing the books for her company and..”

“Why don’t you come and tell my friends all about it?” Clara says and, ignoring Rosa’s protective arm, steers Amy with a gentle hand on her lower back towards the alcove. Clara’s handful of female friends, all about her age, are laughing and drinking but look up when Clara approaches.

“Guys, this is Amanda and Toni, I thought they’d like to join us!” She says expansively. “Amanda, Toni, these are Emma, Julie and Laura. Have a seat guys!”

Amy moves to sit down but Clara grabs her by the arm before she can. Rosa sits down and sets her empty glass on the table. One of Clara’s friends pours a drink out of a pitcher for Rosa and starts asking her questions, monopolising her away from Amy. Clara’s grip on Amy’s arm tightens and pulls her to sit down, across the table from Rosa.

“So, Amanda,” Clara says, leaning in closely and dropping her hand to sit high on Amy’s thigh. Amy jumps and is about to flinch away when she thinks better of it. She looks desperately across the table to Rosa, who is pretending to listen one of Clara’s friends, maybe Julie. Rosa’s just staring at Clara, staring at where Clara’s hand rests on Amy’s thigh. One of Clara’s friends says something and Rosa smiles but it looks more like she’s baring her teeth.

Amy laughs awkwardly as Clara leans in closer.

“What is it you do again?” Amy asks, leaning backwards and trying to extricate herself from Clara’s arms. Clara doesn’t seem to take the hint and leans in closer.

“Oh,” she says breezily, “I own this bar.”

“Really? Wow, that’s amazing,” Amy says loudly and glances over at Rosa again, who is still staring, although now she’s leaned forward to brace her elbows on the table. Amy thinks it may be to facilitate more effective glaring. She starts when she feels something against her face, only to turn and realise that Clara has reached up to touch Amy’s check.

“You really are very beautiful,” she says. Amy feels herself blush.

“Oh, wow, really? I put a lot of effort into my skin care –”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Rosa says, standing up. She knocks over a glass and one of Clara’s friends shouts “hey!” but Rosa keeps moving, reaching out and grabbing Amy’s arm. “C’mon Amanda, I need to tell you something. Now. Alone.”

She pulls and Amy is forced to stumble out of the booth and along with Rosa. She pulls them along to the door to the bathrooms, pushing back a line of people and completely ignoring their shouts. Rosa kicks open a stall and pulls Amy in after her.

“Rosa, what’s going on?” Amy asks, as Rosa kicks the stall divider angrily.

“I can’t take it anymore!” Rosa shouts, turning on Amy. “That woman, that criminal all over you!”

“What?” Amy says, mouth gaping open, “Rosa, that’s the point! I’m doing what we’re supposed to do! What is so special that you can’t-”

She’s in the middle of her sentence when Rosa grabs her face in two hands and kisses her, hard. For a moment, Amy doesn’t know how to react and she just makes a “mmmph” noise but then Rosa’s mouth moves against hers and a shock seems to run through her body. She reaches up to cover Rosa’s hands with hers and opens her mouth. She feels Rosa’s tongue against her teeth and it feels amazing; her whole body feels like its tingling.

They break away and Amy has to gulp in a large breath of air, from shock and excitement.

“Rosa,” she says quietly. Rosa shakes her head.

“Not here, let’s go outside.”

Rosa reaches out for her hand and Amy takes it, feeling Rosa’s thumb brush across the back of her hand.

“Not here,” Rosa says again and tugs on her hand, lightly this time. Rosa pushes the door to the stall open and lightly pulls Amy out. Someone jeers at them but Rosa ignores them and Amy is just in too much shock to process everything that is happening to her.

Still holding Amy’s hand, Rosa finds a fire door and pushes it open, ignoring the ‘do not open’ sign. Usually Amy would worry about it but everything seems irrelevant; the softness of Rosa’s hand in her is important.

Outside is a back alley, only just big enough for a delivery truck to pass through. The noise from inside the club that Amy had been tuning out suddenly disappears; the silence is deafening.

“Rosa…” Amy says but trails off. “I had no idea.”

Rosa shifts on her feet and this, more than anything else, throws Amy off. Rosa is never uncomfortable.

“You’re beautiful, Amy,” Rosa says and takes a step towards her. The door had closed behind them and when Amy steps back, following Rosa’s lead, she steps against the exposed brick of the building.

They stare at each other for a long, quiet moment. This time, Amy knows what is coming and parts her lips slightly when Rosa starts to lean in.

Amy feels the kiss in her belly; Rosa’s lips moving against hers sparks something inside her. She reaches up and grips Rosa’s shoulders, not because she chooses to but because she needs to touch Rosa somewhere.

Rosa’s hands go to Amy’s hips and press tightly, pulling their hips together. Amy gasps into the kiss and presses into it harder, pushing her own tongue against Rosa’s and feeling light-headed when Rosa lets her do it.

They press even more tightly against each other, hands wandering. Amy moans when her hands slip under Rosa’s t-shirt and she touches her bare skin for the first time. Rosa smiles into the kiss and then lightly bumps her forehead against Amy’s when they pull apart to breath. It’s the gentlest gesture Amy’s ever known Rosa to make.

Amy smiles back, suddenly blown away by how stunning, how gorgeous Rosa is. She doesn’t even know what to say; she doesn’t know if she can break the happy silence that surrounds them.

Suddenly, that silence is torn apart by the loud rumbling of a delivery truck rolling down the alleyway. Amy jumps about a foot into the air in surprise and then falls back against the wall.

“Oh my god,” she says, clutching at her heart.

Rosa looks at her for a moment and then, happily and easily, they both start to laugh. Rosa leans forward and they entwine easily, Amy turning to put her back against Rosa’s chest with Rosa’s hands around Amy’s waist.

They delivery truck pulls up alongside a back entrance and men jump down out of the cab. They start emptying the truck of over-full sacks and passing them to an employee inside the open doors.

“Wait a second,” Amy says, twisting to look up at Rosa. “What could they be delivering this late? In sacks?”

Rosa leans back, slowly disentangling from Amy.

“It’s got to be money,” she says. She automatically reaches for her gun but doesn’t find it.

“We gotta call in backup,” Amy says. Rosa nods and pulls out the police-issue mobile phone from the pocket of her jeans.

“Hey, Jake,” she says, when it connects. “We’ve got bad guys delivering cash to the bar, back alleyway entrance. We need cops her now.”

&&&

After all the bad guys have been arrested and stuck into cop cars by a celebratory Peralta, Amy and Rosa lean up against one of the precinct’s cars, their fingers just barely touching. For once in her life, Amy isn’t immediately worried about explaining or clarifying. She feels pretty happy with the possibilities before her.

Rosa leans back onto the car even further and crosses her arms.

“Hey,” she says, turning slightly to look at Amy more directly. Amy feels her stomach swoop. The feeling of easy happiness dissolves suddenly and she’s terrified, so scared Rosa’s going to try and take back everything that’s happened. She opens her mouth to interrupt, to cut the horrible rejection off at the pass, but Rosa gets there before she does.

“You wanna go get a beer sometime? Just the two of us?”

Amy feels a huge smile break her face in two.

“I’d like that a lot.”


End file.
